Killing a Bird
I killed a bird on the way home from the beach. There was no way of avoiding it. It crossed in front of my car quickly, emerging from the snowy bushes on the left shoulder and flying madly toward the other side of the road. I didn’t have time to react—to do so anyway would have put my family’s life in danger on the icy mountain pass.
I heard the small thud and looked in my rearview to see feathers flying and a black dot in the lane behind us.
I felt bad.
When I told my wife what had happened, it spawned a conversation about the cost of doing the things we love. We talked about the gas used to get to the ocean and my petroleum-laced wetsuit and toxic surfboard. Was the negative impact I had on the environment worth the positive impact the environment had on my life through surfing?
Looking deeper, we started talking about the reality of just being on the planet in the first place. Breathing alone creates a “carbon footprint,” not to mention the fact that a walk outside most likely results in tiny insect casualties in our physical footprints. To worry too much about this “cost of living” would result in a paralyzing neurosis, so where do you draw the line?
I need to be outside. To offset the impact I have with my selfish outdoor pursuits, I’ve started trying to do better everyday. An attempt to be more thoughtful about the things I consume, the waste I create, and the damage I can avoid has resulted an ever-present voice in my conscience. When I’m brushing my teeth, I hear it: “Turn the water off.” When I need groceries it’s, “Can I walk to the store?” and “Don’t forget the cotton bags.”
This voice—not harsh or nagging—is the same one that reminded me that the dead bird served its purpose as well: It started an important dialogue that continues in my home and was the inspiration for my sharing these thoughts with you.
This entry was posted on Monday, April 7th, 2008 at 10:42 am and is filed under Outdoor Sport, Sustainability, Personal Reflection, Who We Are. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
April 8th, 2008 at 8:35 am
I agree, but I also know that after a session, I am a better, happier, and more peaceful person, capable of inspiring others to be better, happier and more peaceful (my wife can confirm this fact).
Live simply, live aloha.
April 9th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Great post, Rick. It’s something I was thinking of as well this weekend on a trip to Utah. Three days, two wonderful ski tours in the Wasatch Backcountry, one amazing day in the deep snow of a late season storm, and a few hundred conversations with an old friend. It’s the kind of trip I won’t soon forget, affirming my soul while giving me time to think about future dreams.
It’s hard to weigh such moments of personal meaning against something as seemingly abstract as a carbon footprint. According to terrapass (www.terrapass.com) my flights alone contributed more than 1,000 lbs of CO2 emmissions to the atmosphere. Is that a fair exchange? I don’t really know. Certainly we can’t, as a planet, afford to have 6 billion people dropping 1,000 pounds of CO2 in the atmosphere every few months to have their souls affirmed. (Which makes me wonder what the carbon footprint of megachurches is. But that’s a different post…)So it seems to me that this kind of thinking leads to difficult, deeper questions of how we really plan to live our lives in carbon-neutral world.
April 10th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Thanks for both your comments. I agree that the act of surfing has made me a better person and switched on the lightbulb in my mind about taking care of our planet (see Otis’s post above). With all the crap that we deal with in this “modernized world,” maybe the sacrifice we make to get out there is worth it for the sanity it brings and the good that we do afterwards.
April 16th, 2008 at 8:37 am
@Rick: Very good post. Sorry in advance for the length of this comment.
I have found that it can be more liberating than paralyzing to begin to attempt to live in an environmentally and sociably sustainable way.
I’m totally on board with the pangs of guilt as I consume coffee, ride my snowboard on forest-cleared slopes, mountain bike & trample the underbrush, & pretty much anything else that I am certain effects others lives.
However, it’s this awareness that has given me hope and the impetus to change my lifestyle. For example, I refuse to use more than one paper towel in public bathrooms–if any. Why? Not out of guilt; but rather out of joy. Basically out of a belief that something that small will make a difference…even if I never see the result.
I was asking a question similar to this once regarding how I spend my money. How can I spend my money on anything but the helping others when there are people starving etc. I was given a helpful analogy:
If I have a loving family; but I live next to a broken family; what should my actions be? I will do everything in my power to help that family find reconciliation; but does that mean I should love my family less? Not spend time together laughing and enjoying our company? Obviously not.
That analogy does break down kind of fast; but it helped me appreciate pursuing activities that bring joy and a better life without as much guilt. It’s combining those activities with a change in lifestyle that brings freedom…I think…
April 16th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Hey Josh,
Thanks for the comment. I like the analogy you make and I really appreciate your point of view: that “getting out there” helps remind you to take care of the environment.
Rick